Saturday, December 15, 2012

Christmas Without The Crazy

I can approach Christmas like one big ole' crybaby whinypants...


... but one of the things I do enjoy is Christmas lights.



My goal when putting them up is results somewhere between
"I don't give a rat's booty" ...


... and "Why, yes, I do start my day with an intravenous drip of espresso!"



How do I hit that holiday sweet spot?

By following
few 
easy 
steps.


FIRST STEP!

Twinkle lights are your friends
as is just heaping the strings in piles on potted plants.


There are probably half a dozen lights out on this C7 string,
but it's not noticeable since their neighbors are flashing off and on anyway.

SECOND STEP!

Net lights are also a terrific invention; 
without any tedious wrapping they can easily cover a bush in seconds.


Yeah, it's not a great picture.  They do look cool in real life, though.

THIRD STEP!

Forget tall ladders!


If I can't reach it with a small stepstool, I don't bother.  
I used to climb all over the roof like a crazed spider monkey, and it took FOR-EV-ER
to finish with all the decorating.  No more!

FOURTH STEP!

Use what you have, so there's not a lot of clean-up/storage afterwards.
I have this cool felt Santa that goes over a lighted tomato cage,
that I place next to another light-wrapped, Christmas tree wannabe tomato cage.


As I said in another post,
I also drape lights over my leftover Halloween pumpkins for a fast and easy display.


After Christmas, the tomato cages will go back with the gardening supplies,
and the pumpkins?  Eh, I might leave the lights on for a bit longer.

FIFTH STEP!

Instead of tasteful, dainty white lights carefully strung around every bush and window,
focus on the entryway with lots of color and big lights.

Make your porch the focus of your house!


And now, 

THE LAST STEP!

If you take away nothing else from this entry but this last step,
you will thank me later.

It is the key to keeping myself from stressing out
over this Christmas chore  decorating opportunity.

What do I do when it is time to haul out the strings of C7s?

I wait until the daylight is almost gone, say, 4:30 pm or so...


... and THAT'S when I start decorating.

Yup, that way I have about an hour before it's too dark to see.


And when I can't see to work anymore?
I pack up whatever unstrung decorations are left, and put them away for the year.

That's it!

It's what I call "The Lazy Martha" approach!


(OF COURSE there are no images of "lazy Martha," 
so just try to imagine her in sweat pants and a ponytail.)

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