Blergh

Last Sunday, I was gettin' my craft on, when 

dun dun duuuuuun!

I ended up in the ER.

And just what fearsome tool sent me there?

Nooooo, none of these.

Instead, it was my...

ROTARY CUTTER!!

Lest you think me a bigger weenie than I am,

I just want to say that 1) rotary cutters are wicked-sharp, and

2) my Sweet Man had to get a BAGGIE

to carry a bit of my sliced-off finger to the ER.

A BAGGIE.

But I made it through the week--

laboriously typing a school essay,

awkwardly showering with a giant Ziploc on my hand,

carefully cooking microwaving dinner --

despite the fact my finger looked like this...

.... and felt like this:

"My finger has a heartbeat."

And that Etsy item I had been working on

 when I cut myself?

 Into the mailbox and on time as promised!

(Thumbs-up back atcha, kitty!)

BUT... there was something I was NOT capable of:

bandaging up my own ouchie.

In fact, when the nurse came into the ER room with a sheaf of papers

and launched into her "wound care" spiel,

I said, motioning to the Sweet Man,

"You better tell him, because I'm not going to do it."

And I managed to get my bandages changed by either my doctor

or the Sweet Man, but this weekend, I was visiting my Mom and Sis.

Fortunately, both are iron-stomached women,

who probably wouldn't have trouble stitching up

 their own gaping wounds

with nothing more than an old school shot of whiskey

and a bullet to bite on.

(Sterile  conditions are for pansies.)

So, when I asked my Sis if she could change my bandages?

Her reply was 

"I'm looking forward to it like a present on Christmas morning."

Just what I wanted! A partially-severed finger!!

While my sister was excited, I was less-than-so,

and I made sure I didn't catch a glimpse of my injured finger

as she worked on it.

But now I've made the switch to Band-aids,

not a half-roll of gauze, so things are looking better.

I even picked up some Doc McStuffins Band-aids

to cheer myself up.

Bonus video:

Parks and Recreation master craftsman Ron Swanson,

a man who would be horrified at my carelessness with my tools,

and who has a problem with Doc McStuffins.